there's still some marks on my body from the trip. places i fell down and got bloody, there are lines and little red dots, i know they are from india, evidence of something, a place, a clown move, some kid's laughter. also scars from the bedbugs or fleas, they might've been fleas, from our last night in chennai, laura and i drinking KING FISHER beer outside on the stoop, hiding every time one of the hotel workers came close to the glass, because we weren't supposed to be out there, my ankles were itching then, i thought it might be mosquitoes. but i think, those were the fleas that got me, jumping up from the sand.
i woke up today and put some water on to boil. the tea bag said CHAI and it smelt like some dream i'd had once, i had to add a ton of sugar and milk before i got the ratio right. it was close enough to transport me. not exactly right, but close enough remember.
....
this arrived in my email a week ago.
from one of the boys, our boys, in delhi.
" Circus Across Cultures
March 14, 2007
It was the day which I can’t forget
When I made myself proud and my dad.
It was the day which I can’t forget.
It was the day which changed my life.
Now I will not be afraid with my enemy
Even if they have sword or knife.
I will never put my feet behind.
‘Cause it was the light which shows the way,
Even to the blind.
It was the day which I can’t forget.
It was the day when we didn’t get nervous before 500 people.
It showed us how to become determined,
Face the problem with great encouragement.
In the audience mind become a person called legend,
Attract the face of the crowd in your way.
We learnt all those things on this day.
It was the day which we can’t forget.
By Gulshan
Vivekanand Camp Part 2
Chanakyapuri
New Delhi, India"
....
and there was also this from gulshan:
...
" Clowning: The last, but everybody’s favorite, clowning, was my favorite too. I would like to mention one thing here that while practice sessions on first day when we did clowning we all felt pain in our stomach at night. Evhan, who taught us clowning, was a very calm and very fun loving person. When we were learning clowning we felt that when we are going to audience, our audience will not laugh at us. At that time, Evhan guided us and gave us a teaching, that while doing clowning, do whatever you want. You only will know that it is wrong, but the audience will think that he is a clown and that is why he is doing all the wrong things. He taught us way of talking between two clowns, the way of walking of a clown, the way of falling down, and the way of bumping our head on a wall. The most interesting thing he taught us was how to slap and how to hit chairs to anyone ahead of the audience. Everybody liked doing clowning.
During the practice session, we all (all the boys) used to meet in the morning and start talking about the stunts we learnt and which incidents took place during the session. We all used to encourage each other if anyone felt pain, although we all had pain, but we didn’t want to cause a problem in our unity. And at the time of practice, we all met together and used to do our prayer at our camp (outside of A.E.S.) Prayer is “God give me power that I will not cause any problem for my friend and if he is in trouble I will not go away.” And after that we all use to hug each other and go for practice.
We had to warm up first and then training. We were enjoying the training and use to think it would be very beautiful if the training would be for 6 months. We worked very hard and learnt all those stunts.
Then, after six busy days, the day came for which we all were waiting. It was the 14th of March, the day when we had to do a show. Our dreams became true for which we all worked hard and gave our 100 percent. We all wanted to make it special for us and for the audience who were watching this show. We all said to ourselves that we don’t have to do any mistake. Do it better then best, and make proud all the teachers. It will be our Gurudakshin (A gift which students have to give at the end of their study to their teacher). I didn’t know if we could give that to them or not, but we tried very hard to do it. On that day we were very, very excited and determinative. The whole day passed like a second, and n the evening, we all came together and went to A.E.S. When we went in the A.E. S. gyum, we all got T Shirts for the similarity. We colored our face, and did some final rehearsal for the show. After half hour, we went to the theater. When we entered in the theater, we found that some of the people were already waiting for the show. Then we did some settling, and waited for more people.
After half hour the show started. We were divided in two groups: A and B. Each group had to do all of the stunts and each person had to do two stunts. Both groups showed all the stunts. At first the stilt walkers of Group A came on stage and performed head of audience. The audience was fascinated by their performance. Now clown group of Group A came to perform. The Audience became convinced and was laughing. The whole theater started humming. Now the aero group came and showed their performance. We can’t forget the rope group too, and their ---------.
The same process worked with group B. And, after an unforgettable one hour the show ended. The audience enjoyed the show. We were very proud because the whole show went very well. We couldn’t stay pleased for long time because it was the time when we had to go aside from our friends, teachers and we had to come our from our vision. We had to go back in our old world, but this time we had something special with us which was a blessing of our teachers and power of love from our A.E. S. friends.
This time we were ready to struggle with this world. Our life took a turn. We all understood the meaning of our life. We didn’t want to waste it. We started our new life with great determination and discipline. Those boys were Gulshan, Roshan, Pramod, Haridas, Sukhpal, Prashant, Kishan, Moglee, Sonu I, Sonu II, Kailash, Bhupender, Umesh, Pradeep, Nitesh, Bablu, Paramlal, Deepak I, Deepak II, Rahul, Ravi, Chhotoo, Kanhaiyalal, Govind, I, Govind II, Rakesh, Suresh, Rammilan and Raju. I am very, very proud to say that I , Gulshan, was one of those boys.
Once again we want to say thank you to our teachers, and everybody who gave us a helping hand. We are very thankful to Mr. Gene Harrell and Ms. Barbara Hegranes for all their help because without their help, the dream couldn’t become true. We can never forget to say thank you to A.E.S. for their help in giving us all the facilities and allowing us to do the show.
In the end, I want to tell all of you a teaching which I learnt from my teacher. Always enjoy your beautiful life because ‘Who knows what tomorrow brings?” "
....
i wrote back:
....
"thank you for sharing gulshan. you have a great gift for writing. continue to use it. and please share with me what you are writing as time goes on. i would love to read your words. you have a great heart.
your clown friend,
evan
ps. tell everyone at the camp i say hello. i miss you all. and please contact me anytime. i love to hear from you."
....
his reply was:
....
"Hi Evan
Thanks for you unforgetable love and support you gave me. I am writing another book which i will share with you.
Gulshan"
....
i have been showing people the pictures. calling everyone in my phonebook so i can say the same words over and over, keep repeating the stories.
don't lose it evan. hold on.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Thursday, April 05, 2007
last post, some pieces i don't want to forget
lip-synching with alessandra some song neither of us knew in the back seat of the cab, doing our best bollywood duet, lips moving in fake hindi shapes, eyes expressing, heads bobbing. making cohdi and laura laugh.
...
shirtless young boys, scabs and marks, no shoes, dirty hair, snotty faces, selling roses, knocking on our car window, eyes begging, patting their stomaches, some kind of crude mime gesture, hungry belly...feed me.
the guy with one leg, bouncing like a pogo stick, magazines in hand, seeling those, coming right up to our cab. hopping through the traffic, hop, hop, hop.
men with no legs at all rolling through the traffic on skate boards, pushing the hot pavement beneath them with their chapped hands. one of them, had some kind of hump on his back, maybe it was his shoulder blade, sticking way up, not how it should be.
....
seeing horses in the park, grazing. playing with them, like in a scene, in kolkata. cohdi took video footage, running in circles, one of them jumped up on its hind legs to fend me off, too close to its child, too close. i run away.
....
i had a 5 ruppee coin and i tossed it in the air and a young girl caught it and stuck her tongue out at her brothers. she smiled at me.
....
a punjab man, hair rolled into a ball on his head, large cloth tire, a turban, tells us it's a "dry" night in delhi. no alcohol because there's an election in a few days, and it's the law that the city closes down it's bars and liquor stores. he says, you like rum? i have a friend...
we drive to the army base, where his cousin meets us on a scooter and hands us a bottle in a paper bag, he rides away, and our friend, the taxi driver, makes a cute gesture, like a child sneaking a snack in the middle of the night, tip-toeing away from the refrigerator, sssh, don't tell...
....
getting a greeting card from our boys from across the street (from the slum, or "camp" called vivakenand) that says the most beautiful words. gulshin, one of the boys, is working on a book he tells me, about our circus, he hopes to have it published. they've been rehearsing their acrobatics everyday, they say, in the grass by their school. the card says: "you have shown us we can do anything. our world is a brighter place. we can deal with many tragedies. you are our great friends. never forget us too."
their camp, which has been around for over 30 years, is being bull-dozed over by the government in a matter of weeks. when i ask them about this they break into an english song they all know, i imagine one they learned at school, all these boys wearing the red shirts we made them, an image of india and the words in hindi and in english: circus across cultures...they all start singing and swaying together: "WHO KNOWS WHAT TOMORROW BRINGS..."
afterwards, one of the boys, says, "how? how, evan, do you make this your profession?" and it kills me to think that for these boys, in this society, i can't promise them that anything is possible. i say, "you work and you work, and you stay true to yourself and you do what you love. and if you keep that thing that you love with you always, your work won't be so bad. it might even become what you love."
they ask about my house back home, and i can't really justify the fact that we have three bathrooms, two levels, 200 channels on the t.v.
....
packing it all up. we get in the plane tonight. so many flashes of this trip. things i want to remember always. i will keep making notes like this. to keep it alive.
i arrive home on friday after a 22 hour flight. it's so hard to imagine.
india is a place that hides nothing of itself. it is like an open wound, totally exposed, every harsh reality. it's also incredibly beautiful and rich, and the people, so strong and connected to their family, to their sense of place.
a principal at one of the schools tells us about the street kids and how they are so amazing because they are so ready to learn, so enthusiastic, because they are in "the flow." when you live in poverty, you can't be a complainer. you can't resist it. you have to be in the flow to surrvive. so everywhere they are, they are present, alive and ready to adapt.
and they think we have it all.
...
shirtless young boys, scabs and marks, no shoes, dirty hair, snotty faces, selling roses, knocking on our car window, eyes begging, patting their stomaches, some kind of crude mime gesture, hungry belly...feed me.
the guy with one leg, bouncing like a pogo stick, magazines in hand, seeling those, coming right up to our cab. hopping through the traffic, hop, hop, hop.
men with no legs at all rolling through the traffic on skate boards, pushing the hot pavement beneath them with their chapped hands. one of them, had some kind of hump on his back, maybe it was his shoulder blade, sticking way up, not how it should be.
....
seeing horses in the park, grazing. playing with them, like in a scene, in kolkata. cohdi took video footage, running in circles, one of them jumped up on its hind legs to fend me off, too close to its child, too close. i run away.
....
i had a 5 ruppee coin and i tossed it in the air and a young girl caught it and stuck her tongue out at her brothers. she smiled at me.
....
a punjab man, hair rolled into a ball on his head, large cloth tire, a turban, tells us it's a "dry" night in delhi. no alcohol because there's an election in a few days, and it's the law that the city closes down it's bars and liquor stores. he says, you like rum? i have a friend...
we drive to the army base, where his cousin meets us on a scooter and hands us a bottle in a paper bag, he rides away, and our friend, the taxi driver, makes a cute gesture, like a child sneaking a snack in the middle of the night, tip-toeing away from the refrigerator, sssh, don't tell...
....
getting a greeting card from our boys from across the street (from the slum, or "camp" called vivakenand) that says the most beautiful words. gulshin, one of the boys, is working on a book he tells me, about our circus, he hopes to have it published. they've been rehearsing their acrobatics everyday, they say, in the grass by their school. the card says: "you have shown us we can do anything. our world is a brighter place. we can deal with many tragedies. you are our great friends. never forget us too."
their camp, which has been around for over 30 years, is being bull-dozed over by the government in a matter of weeks. when i ask them about this they break into an english song they all know, i imagine one they learned at school, all these boys wearing the red shirts we made them, an image of india and the words in hindi and in english: circus across cultures...they all start singing and swaying together: "WHO KNOWS WHAT TOMORROW BRINGS..."
afterwards, one of the boys, says, "how? how, evan, do you make this your profession?" and it kills me to think that for these boys, in this society, i can't promise them that anything is possible. i say, "you work and you work, and you stay true to yourself and you do what you love. and if you keep that thing that you love with you always, your work won't be so bad. it might even become what you love."
they ask about my house back home, and i can't really justify the fact that we have three bathrooms, two levels, 200 channels on the t.v.
....
packing it all up. we get in the plane tonight. so many flashes of this trip. things i want to remember always. i will keep making notes like this. to keep it alive.
i arrive home on friday after a 22 hour flight. it's so hard to imagine.
india is a place that hides nothing of itself. it is like an open wound, totally exposed, every harsh reality. it's also incredibly beautiful and rich, and the people, so strong and connected to their family, to their sense of place.
a principal at one of the schools tells us about the street kids and how they are so amazing because they are so ready to learn, so enthusiastic, because they are in "the flow." when you live in poverty, you can't be a complainer. you can't resist it. you have to be in the flow to surrvive. so everywhere they are, they are present, alive and ready to adapt.
and they think we have it all.
Monday, April 02, 2007
clown friends
the other day uday wanted us to meet some friends of his here in bombay that run a circus show at a hotel called LOTUS. twice a week, three shows a day, a lit up glass stage that stands over a swimming pool, in the courtyard cafe, all the rooms have windows facing the show, there's a trapeze bar hanging that hasn't been used in years. i guess it used to be a huge show, the whole hotel was focused around the circus. now it's just simple magic tricks mostly and juggling, a few clowns in full make up and multi-colored wigs serve people drinks and stand around awkwardly trying to entertain. martin, the head honcho producer of the show, and signer of the contract with the hotel (he's under written agreement to have performers show up and do their job) he'd heard of me from uday and cohdi had mentioned something about DELL'ARTE that had prompted him to look over the website enough to ask me some intelligent questions. he wanted me to show his workers some "tricks" and so i fell down the stairs for them, walked into some walls, pretended their handshakes were making my body go limp with pain (as if they had unbearably tight grips) and i messed with some of the center pieces on the table as if they were objects with a life of their own.
martin loved me and was so intrigued with some one taking clowning "so seriously." i explained that i think clown is a great way to learn about your self and to show people a little bit about human nature and how we all struggle with imperfections and flaws. he asked me to meet with him privately the next day and i did.
yesterday i got picked up by ameresh, a young mime with a great smile, eager to learn a few more skills. we zoomed on his motorbike through the city as the sun set, the wind blowing through our hair, smiling at the beautiful splotches of color reflecting on the water. i held on tight and we shouted a few sentences back and forth that were inaudible due to the bikes' growls before giving up on speaking, to get absorbed by the ride. we arrived at martin's office and martin was wearing a multi colored over-sized shirt, that was more like a blouse, as i know blouses. kinda like a mu-mu and one of the walls had a full-on tropical scene painted mural, palm leaves and waves. he handed me a BACARDI BREEZER, some saccharine sweet blue alcoholic beverage. and we talked clown and theatre and character and improvisation talk for almost two hours. i watched video footage of my new mime friend and richie, an 18 year old clown with a passion for "making people happy". in amerish's video, i saw his signature "lip dancing" which is a pretty fun gag, where a mime stands perfectly still as music plays and his lips become possessed to break out in some pretty crazy moves.
after my critique, martin offered me a job. he said he could get me a work visa and pay for my way back here this fall to stay for 3 months or so teaching all his boys how to be great clowns and also performing myself several times a week. i would be getting a weekly salary and a place to stay (my own apartment). he would also rent out a rehearsal hall for practice and teaching, that i could use whenever i wish, and that i could invite two or three friends to come with me and do the same.
i told him to stay in touch and that through email, we could maybe agree on something, but let's talk logistics later, as it's too soon to say.
ameresh and richie and i rode out on another motorcycle adventure through the city, stopping to try "pana-puri" a bombay "specialty" which is basically a crispy little ball with an opening that they ladle in a spicy or sweet liquid, kinda like a cold soup, and you devour it in one bite. it was great. we hopped on our bikes (richie had one too) and headed for the beach where we smuggled in some beer and drank and talked and laughed under the stars. the waves crashing, and couples in shadows kissing, and one loud woman laughing and falling in the water, drunk, that amerish said was a hooker.
we went back to amerish's friend sam's house and got some chinese food and sang songs (mostly in english, though i did "ooh" and "ahh" along to a few hindi songs with catchy tunes). we also talked politics. amerish is hindu. richie is catholic. and sam and his friend were muslim. and they are self-described revolutionaries, violently opposed to the "caste system" of which their parents generations are consumed. they spoke about work and personal problems, girls. it was cool being around a bunch of guys that spoke such amazing english, got my humor, and understood my accent. they were a lot of fun. it's really rare for young men (women too, actually anyone over 16) to be persuing something they love, outside of their career and family, mostly that's considered childish and silly. amerish and richie are, as of right now, supporting themselves as bachelors who live at home with their parents, as clowns and mimes. no other work. they worry about the future, i told them i do too, that it's the same thing all over the world, the fear of not being able to sustain your passion.
then it was back on the bikes, hours later, around 4 in the morning zooming through the empty streets at break-neck speed, as the boys delivered me home and we said goodnight.
martin loved me and was so intrigued with some one taking clowning "so seriously." i explained that i think clown is a great way to learn about your self and to show people a little bit about human nature and how we all struggle with imperfections and flaws. he asked me to meet with him privately the next day and i did.
yesterday i got picked up by ameresh, a young mime with a great smile, eager to learn a few more skills. we zoomed on his motorbike through the city as the sun set, the wind blowing through our hair, smiling at the beautiful splotches of color reflecting on the water. i held on tight and we shouted a few sentences back and forth that were inaudible due to the bikes' growls before giving up on speaking, to get absorbed by the ride. we arrived at martin's office and martin was wearing a multi colored over-sized shirt, that was more like a blouse, as i know blouses. kinda like a mu-mu and one of the walls had a full-on tropical scene painted mural, palm leaves and waves. he handed me a BACARDI BREEZER, some saccharine sweet blue alcoholic beverage. and we talked clown and theatre and character and improvisation talk for almost two hours. i watched video footage of my new mime friend and richie, an 18 year old clown with a passion for "making people happy". in amerish's video, i saw his signature "lip dancing" which is a pretty fun gag, where a mime stands perfectly still as music plays and his lips become possessed to break out in some pretty crazy moves.
after my critique, martin offered me a job. he said he could get me a work visa and pay for my way back here this fall to stay for 3 months or so teaching all his boys how to be great clowns and also performing myself several times a week. i would be getting a weekly salary and a place to stay (my own apartment). he would also rent out a rehearsal hall for practice and teaching, that i could use whenever i wish, and that i could invite two or three friends to come with me and do the same.
i told him to stay in touch and that through email, we could maybe agree on something, but let's talk logistics later, as it's too soon to say.
ameresh and richie and i rode out on another motorcycle adventure through the city, stopping to try "pana-puri" a bombay "specialty" which is basically a crispy little ball with an opening that they ladle in a spicy or sweet liquid, kinda like a cold soup, and you devour it in one bite. it was great. we hopped on our bikes (richie had one too) and headed for the beach where we smuggled in some beer and drank and talked and laughed under the stars. the waves crashing, and couples in shadows kissing, and one loud woman laughing and falling in the water, drunk, that amerish said was a hooker.
we went back to amerish's friend sam's house and got some chinese food and sang songs (mostly in english, though i did "ooh" and "ahh" along to a few hindi songs with catchy tunes). we also talked politics. amerish is hindu. richie is catholic. and sam and his friend were muslim. and they are self-described revolutionaries, violently opposed to the "caste system" of which their parents generations are consumed. they spoke about work and personal problems, girls. it was cool being around a bunch of guys that spoke such amazing english, got my humor, and understood my accent. they were a lot of fun. it's really rare for young men (women too, actually anyone over 16) to be persuing something they love, outside of their career and family, mostly that's considered childish and silly. amerish and richie are, as of right now, supporting themselves as bachelors who live at home with their parents, as clowns and mimes. no other work. they worry about the future, i told them i do too, that it's the same thing all over the world, the fear of not being able to sustain your passion.
then it was back on the bikes, hours later, around 4 in the morning zooming through the empty streets at break-neck speed, as the boys delivered me home and we said goodnight.
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