so last night we made a change. i was feeling very much in need of one, a change that is, things were feeling heavy, kinda stagnant, not good there for a little bit.
i think walking into a situation like this, it's very dangerous to have any kind of relationship expectations, even though i was doing my damndest (just read my other blogs) it's natural when your only ways of relating to someone are romantic, to be plopped into this crazy "living together" in the middle of nowhere thing, is insane. so we backed off. such a good idea.
we, cohdi and i, had an amazingly articulate and intimate conversation about how are nervousness with one another, our self-inflicted closed-ness and timidity were toxic, in so far as creating a creative and supportive environment and unit, meaning the unit we will have to be (the four of us) when we travel to india. the best way to create that support and that freedom is by stepping back, i think, from any kind of forced romantic obligation, which is what it was quickly becoming between us. so i moved out. i'm now living right across the street. and although this may seem like a quick and bold move, it is so the right thing.
instantly we felt better around eachother, lighter without any label or weird emotionally pre-mature dynamic binding us together.
instantly after our talk we were joking more, we were playing, laughing, being more ourselves. THAT'S how you get to know eachother. but not getting in the way of HOW you are seeing the other person. that's a lot of pressure, sleeping in one bed with a near-stranger, and trying to stay at my best creatively, so i can collaborate and socialize in a totally new, strange and uncomfortable new environment (hello, 23 degrees outside!).
anyway, i moved in with laura and alessondra, and they are super sweet. and it's like i said only 25 paces away from cohdi's place, so it's not a huge shift, althought it kinda is.
it's good. i wrote him a letter basically saying how proud i am of us, for being so open so early and risking so much.
it's good. and besides, who the hell knows what'll happen. i don't want to.
i like where it is now. it's open, it's honest, it's real. it's easy.
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Words on laughter, culture, and coming of age.
From February 15 - April 6 2007 I traveled through INDIA with a group of talented Circus Artists that I met at a friend's wedding in New Mexico the Summer of 2006. While we were there I assisted the group technically with their performance of ESCAPE ARTIST, an original aerial perfomance piece. We toured the major cities, Calcutta, Chennai, Delhi, Bombay and performed for thousands of Indian citizens. At these performances I often came out as Alvin McGee, my Clown character, entertaining the audience as a Pre-Show spectacle. I also taught Clown workshops as part of the collaborative CIRCUS ACROSS CULTURES program to nearly 200 children at the American Embassy Schools of Delhi and Bombay respectively.
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